A good old Corona Cry

 “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20

When I first heard the words “social distancing,” “quarantine,” “don’t leave your house” I was totally fine with this. I get to hang out in my house all day with my favorite people, my faithful dog and watch Netflix? No problem! I’ve considered my days a success if I change from pajamas to lounge wear. My kids are older so e-learning has been a breeze for me! The most difficult parts of my day have been learning “tech” to do online videos for my beloved kiddos in my ministry. But even then I’ve convinced myself that I’m working my brain during this crisis through acquiring knowledge about iMovie, YouTube and creating/maintaining a Facebook page. I like myself, I like my family, I like my house, I can entertain myself. I was made for a quarantine.

Until this morning…

I spent the week preparing and making my video to send to my kids who I wouldn’t be with in church today. My favorite day of the week is Sunday. I love seeing my families!!!  I got my cup of coffee, ready to make the most of virtual worship, grabbed my husband and relaxed on my couch! I was ready to be fed with some JESUS!!! My pastor and friend appeared on the screen. He was in our Gathering space at church…a place that at this very moment on a Sunday would be filled with people I love…my friends…the people I worship with. The Gathering space was empty. As Jerry began to describe what would typically be happening on any given Sunday (except this one) I felt the sadness invade my soul. The tears started to well and then the crying started. I wasn’t made for a quarantine!!! I was made to be with all the people I love. I’ve worked at ZPC for 12 years and this is the 2nd Sunday in a row where I haven’t been with my kids, my teachers, my friends, my church family. I am NOT ok…I’m so NOT ok.

ZPC- I miss you. I always shout from the rooftops that I love my job and have the best job on the planet. This time away has made me reflect that indeed, I do love my job. I do have the best job on the planet. I’m tired of Netflix. I want to wear more than Pj’s and sweats. I want to get back to relationships. I am NOT ok with social distancing…social distancing is the worst. One of the questions in our sermon today was “what do you miss?” I miss my church. I miss my co-workers. I miss my friends. I miss you. I’m tired of Netflix…I have watched everything.

I will continue to do my civic duty and stay away from all of you but this is hard. One of the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve been through divorce, my kids have had their struggles, I live with two autoimmune diseases…I know hard. I hate hard. BUT I love all of you and during this time I will be praying for your safety, talking to you through FaceTime and Zoom, seeing you on Facebook and Instagram. You’re in my heart. Keep the pictures coming…I love seeing them!

Yesterday, I got some yarn and downloaded a pattern to make an afghan. I’m turning off Netflix and working on sharpening some of the old knitting skills! My Pandemic throw will be an heirloom to share with my grandchildren someday…yes, I’ve become that person.

 

 

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